For people in recovery, fear can have a major impact on one’s life. Sometimes, without even noticing, fear can be a significant factor in decision-making or even be controlling one’s life altogether. Fear affects happiness and can cause people to make decisions that they wouldn't otherwise make. Drugs and alcohol can provide a sense of false courage, so when these substances are taken away people can suddenly find fear to be overwhelming. To be happy in recovery, it is important to recognize fear and learn to overcome it. This will lead to a happier recovery and even increase the likelihood of long-term sobriety. These are some signs that fear is controlling your life: You say ‘yes’ when you mean ‘no’, or you say ‘no’ when you mean ‘yes’ This is one of the most obvious signs that fear is affecting your decision-making. When people are afraid of judgment, failure, attention, or pain, they tend to avoid doing things that want to do. Even if someone knows that following through on a decision would make them happy, the fear of failing or the fear of anxiety that might occur causes them to do the opposite. If you constantly find yourself doing the opposite of what you want to do or your “dreams,” then you should seriously consider talking to your support network on ways to build courage. Your sponsor will likely suggest that you get outside of your comfort zone and do things that might make you nervous. Though some people will tell you to avoid all risks in recovery, this is often counterproductive. Taking risks in recovery can increase...
Telling people you don’t drink can feel like an uncomfortable exchange in early recovery. One of the traditions of 12-step fellowships, like AA, is the principle of “anonymity.” Anonymity means that members of the fellowship don’t tell non-members that they practice 12 steps to remain sober. New members of 12-step fellowships can find this difficult to avoid and sometimes feel that they are walking on eggshells. This doesn’t need to be the case and, in fact, there are many ways to avoid the subject but still let people know that you are completely clean and sober. In the case of immediate family, it’s actually OK to tell them that you participate in 12-steps. Anonymity is more important for new people you meet or for formal interviews like on the radio, tv, or written articles. It’s also OK to tell people that you support your recovery through a fellowship of other sober people. What’s usually important is to avoid saying that you specifically are a member of Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Cocaine Anonymous, etc. These fellowships ask to avoid using their name. For people in early recovery, they often feel that being sober is much more bizarre than it actually is. When I first got sober, I thought that people would think it is strange that I don’t drink. In reality, other people barely question it or think that it is weird at all. One way to tell people is simply to tell them, “I don’t drink.” If they ask any questions, you can just say that you don’t enjoy it, or that it doesn’t sit well with you....
Codependency is a common trait among people who suffer from addiction or alcoholism. This is because addiction is a major trigger for codependent relationships among family members or significant others. Those closest to an addict feel they need to support them and protect them, which often leads to overprotection and enabling. When a person gets sober, there are still wounds that need to heal. Some of the traits of addiction carry on into recovery, which is why it is important to recognize the symptoms of codependency so that you can address it. Becoming truly independent will make you happier and healthier. These are some signs that you are a codependent person: People-pleasing People pleasing is one of the most obvious signs of a codependent person. Codependents find it very difficult to say “no.” They want everyone to like them, so they often find themselves doing things they don’t want to do. In a family relationship, a parent may continue to give their addicted adult children money out of fear of their child leaving them or loving them less. Parents may also be afraid that their children will commit a crime to get their drugs so prefer to pay for their addiction themselves. This leads to very unhealthy codependency between both the drug user and the parent. In relationships, one or both people may find it difficult to say “no” to each other and create boundaries. In a healthy relationship, both parties feel strongly about the relationship. If you are codependent, you may feel you constantly need to please your significant other or else they might leave you. Poor...
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