I was taking a bath, the water going cold while I hugged myself at the knees crying silently when the thought of wanting it to all end entered my mind. “My life,” I thought? No, my addiction! I wanted it to stop. For things to get better. I wanted my life back. I wanted my kids back. It was then I began to pray.
The next day I struggled over what I wanted and what I was used to. I faced my fears head on. I knew once I told DHS I needed rehab there was no turning back. I was no longer afraid of the turmoil in my head over quitting. I was afraid I’d lose my kids to the system. Lose myself to the game. That afternoon I called every rehab I could find in my area.
When I walked through the doors at Serenity I was broken, but I was willing. Willing to put in the work. Willing to fight my demons. Willing to put my sobriety & mental health 1st. Willing to do whatever it took to have a better life. Staff helped me set goals, gave me tools, helped prepare me for the “real world,” helped set me up for sober living(where I can have my kids) & encouraged me to do me. Cause at the end of the day, it’s my choices that will keep me on the path I choose to be on. I was given the tools I needed I just had to put them to use. I left there with hope. With goals for my future. With a newfound strength.
Today I am sober. Not because I have to be but because I want to be. Thanks to Serenity and all the amazing people there my life has meaning again. This was the best (& hardest) decision I’ve ever made.
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