Dealing with an Addict in Denial 

One of the most incapacitating aspects about watching a close friend or loved one struggle with addiction, is watching them destroy themselves, and often be unaware of the problem. It is extremely common for alcoholics and addicts to deny that the one thing that brings them the most pleasure, is also causing them the most pain.  So if your loved one is denying their addiction and need for inpatient treatment, how can you make sure to take care of yourself in the meantime?  Seeking Help for Yourself As common as it is for addicts in denial to not want help, it is equally as common for their loved ones to sacrifice themselves trying to offer it. One of the best ways to deal with a loved one struggling with addiction is to use the oxygen mask metaphor.  If the plane is losing oxygen, you are instructed to put your own oxygen mask on before helping others. In other words, you can’t save someone else if you yourself can’t breathe.  As difficult as it may be, to lovingly separate your own life from the others, it is completely essential if you are going to be any sort of helpful presence in their life. How does someone do this? Al-Anon Meetings: Al-anon is a program that was created by the loved ones of alcoholics in the early days of AA. It is completely free and open to anyone who struggles with relationships with addicts or alcoholics. You can find a list of meetings near you here.   CODA meetings: Many people are unaware that their own behavior when dealing with an addict...

Are You Enabling an Addict?

There is no easy or right way to deal with an addict. It is difficult when it is a friend or coworker, but especially traumatic if this addict is a close loved one. Many people don’t even know their loved one is struggling with addiction usually until it is too late, and up until that point, many parents, siblings, and spouses will participate in enabling behaviors to try and help this person through their tough times. Enabling can seem like the easy way out, and can often create the illusion that the person is actually helping their loved one, when in fact, enabling can often do far more damage than good when it comes to the recovery of an addicted person. Here is why. The Value of Rock Bottom As difficult as it may be to watch or be a witness to, addicts and alcoholics will be unable to make the  “to their core” decision to stop using drugs or alcohol until they have hit a hard and life-shaking bottom. It might not make any sense to people who do not struggle with addiction, but it rings true for just about each sober and active addict. The desire to fight will not be there until there is literally NO OTHER OPTION. This is just the way it is with addiction. After a time, the addictive patterns of thinking and behaving begin to completely overthrow the person's real thought processes, making it seem impossible to stop using because they begin to be completely reliant upon it. The troubling truth is, the only thing that brings addicts comfort is the same thing...

How Family Therapy Can Help in Sobriety

During our addiction, or even just during the depths of a mental disorder, people tend to push their family members and loved ones away. This usually isn’t on purpose, but sometimes just happens as a result of miscommunication, resentments, failed expectations, and stress. When it comes time for that individual to begin the healing process, family therapy can be one of the most beneficial support systems to incorporate into the recovery plan. The Family Disease If you have been around the block in your addiction or as a bystander who loves someone struggling with mental health, you are probably well familiar with the statement that “addiction is a family disease.” This doesn’t mean that everyone in the family struggles with mental illness, but what it does mean is that the family can play a massive role in the person's addiction process and behaviors. Some of the most common characteristics in the family system of someone who is an alcohol, addict, or has mental health issues are: Codependency Enabling Alcohol or Substance Abuse Divorce Physical, emotional, mental abuse Abandonment Lack of communication Denial It can be hard for the family of someone who struggles with addiction or mental health to admit or come to terms with their “part” in the family dynamic. Many parents struggle with accepting that their own behavior may have made it difficult for their child to cope with certain emotions and turn to substances to find consoling. In addition, many siblings can often express their anger, shame, and guilt towards a sibling who struggles with drugs or alcohol, but they may be unwilling to admit that they...

Signs of Codependency and How to Stop

Codependency is defined as, “excessive emotional or psychological reliance on a partner, typically a partner who requires support to due an illness or addiction.” According to Mental Health America, Codependency is often a learned behavior pattern that is often passed down through generations and can affect spouses, parents, siblings, friends, and other family members. In the past, codependency was mostly likened to partners who cared for someone struggling with alcoholism or addiction. Today, that group remains the largest population of people who are living with codependent patterns, although it can affect people who are not in a chemically dependent relationship. Relationship Addiction What has also been called, “relationship addiction”, people who engage in codependent behaviors are often a part of what some people would call a one-sided relationship. In other words, people gravitate toward relationships that are manipulative, filled with distrust and control and can also be emotionally or physically abusive. These patterns can be learned or picked up through many different characteristics of relationships such as: Having an abusive parent Having an alcoholic or addict parent Being in a relationship with someone who struggles from addiction, a mental disorder or a dysfunctional family system Growing up with a sibling who struggled with addiction or a mental disorder Abandonment trauma Codependency is largely characterized by a person’s inability to form healthy relationships that consist of trust, loving connection, compassion, boundaries, and support. How Family Trauma can Create Codependency Professionals often say that addiction is a family disease, and codependency is similar in that regard. Primarily, people who struggle with codependent behaviors learn them from a parent or from living in...

7 Common Excuses Addicts Will Give to Not Get Sober

When someone is completely addicted to a substance, nothing will get in the way. Not only is there an extremely overwhelming psychological urge to use, but there is often physical symptoms of withdrawal. Withdrawal can be so painful that many addicted individuals will go to any length to avoid getting sober. Withdrawal is scary and so is the idea of not having a substance to rely on. Addicts will give a whole array of excuses as to why they can’t get sober yet, or right now, or even ever. The excuses often build and build until a person simply cannot stand being addicted to drugs or alcohol any longer. If you or a loved one has struggled with addiction, then some of these will probably sound familiar. There seems to be some common excuses people will give to avoid going to rehab or becoming completely abstinent. Unfortunately, it will be hard to convince someone who is addicted that they are in fact an addict, so it is best to try to let them figure it out on their own. If you find that you have been giving these excuses, then perhaps try to seriously consider your true motives. I can quit any time I want This is one of the most common excuses among drug users. Sometimes it is true, but many times it is not. Addicts are masters at not only manipulating others, but also lying to themselves. When someone constantly reminds themselves that they can quit any time they want, then it becomes more and more difficult for them to realize when things have gotten out of hand....

A PET Scan Can Predict Alcoholic Relapse

Alcoholism is a devastating and complicated disease that affects millions of people. The National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism reports that 15 million Americans have an alcohol abuse disorder. Alcohol is also the 4th leading cause of preventable death. Researchers and doctors are exploring all avenues to better understand alcoholism and how to prevent alcoholic relapse.  It has long been known that alcoholism has some kind of relationship with genes given that it often passes from one generation to the next. Researchers are just starting to understand what genes are affected and why. The most recent discovery has to do with the brain and neuroreceptors. A study found a way that seems to predict alcoholic relapse! A study conducted by the Society of Nuclear Medicine revealed this month a new understanding of neuroreceptors linked to compulsions to drink. PET brain imaging was used for the study, which involved both normal healthy brains and brains of newly sober individuals at various stages of recovery. The researchers were trying to understand the root cause of an alcoholic relapse and if there were any physical changes in the brain prior to relapse. The study coursed over 6 months with intervals of PET scans and what they found is truly fascinating. What Happens In The Brain When You Get Sober? The specific receptors of interest are known as “mGluR5,” which are receptors in the brain and central nervous system associated with memory, learning, feelings of anxiety, and cravings. When a person drinks heavily and constantly, the bioavailability of these receptors is reduced due to the brain adapting to alcohol dependence. In the study,...

5 Helpful Family Support Groups

Addiction is like a tornado. It tramples through people’s lives and harms the most innocent people. Families and relationships are strained, parents lose sleep wondering if their addicted children will be ok, and children of alcoholics live in fear. There are nearly infinite support groups and networks for addicts, but often people forget about the innocent bystanders who are forever scarred by addiction. Luckily, there are several programs for the relatives of addicts. These groups are similar to 12-step fellowships, except they support spouses, children, and friends who have been directly affected by addiction or alcoholism. Family support groups teach people how to set boundaries and how to best support someone in recovery or active addiction. Addiction is often considered a family disease. This is because codependency and enabling frequently run rampant in homes with addicts. Families often try to help addicts- too much. They support their loved ones so much that the addict is never allowed to fail. Addicts know if they have someone to fall back on, and push that relationship to the limit. It sucks the lives out of relatives and often causes controversy amongst families. Family support groups work to stop the chaos. Many family support groups are made up of people “in recovery” from unhealthy relationships. They can offer support and experience, just like AA. Many of these groups even have ‘sponsors’ similar to AA, where an experienced person can share how they recovered and offer 24/7 support to a new family in need. There are even support groups for co-occurring conditions. Families and friends are often affected by the ripple of mental illness just...

Which Drugs Don’t Show Up on Panel Drug Tests

Drug tests are extremely common in rehabs, IOP, sober communities, and halfway houses. There are many variants of drug tests that can detect many different substances. The most common form is a urinalysis 10 or 15 panel drug test. These are cheap and effective, and they work in minutes. The downside is in today’s age, there are too many drugs to count that give the user a mind-altering high. Some of these drugs can be detected in labs, but this can be very expensive and time-consuming. If there is suspicion of a specific drug being used, the tester can send a sample to a lab and test for that specific compound, which won’t be as expensive. 10 Panel Drug Test A common and cheap drug test is the 10 panel urinalysis. This test usually detects Amphetamines (Adderall), Barbiturates, Benzodiazepines, Buprenorphine (Suboxone/Subutex), Cocaine, Marijuana, Methamphetamines, Methadone, Opiates (Heroin/Morphine), and Oxycodone (OxyContin/Vicodin). These drugs are the most common and the most desired. Rather than using drugs that do not show up on a 10 panel test, users will often try to cheat the tests. Fake urine or tampering is common, or even just using in between tests. If possible, it is best to not let the user know which drugs are on the test or how many panels. This will give them an edge if they want to beat the test. Another way to combat drug test cheating is to purchase 1 panel dip-stick tests. These test for a single substance and work similarly to test cups. The stick is dipped in the urine and works in minutes. Common dipstick tests are...

8 Awesome Books about Sobriety

I personally find that it is a blessing that we live in a time where we have such a huge network of recovery and sobriety. While yes, in the grand scheme of things, it still seems somewhat of a taboo subject in the overall society because we are such a small number on the overall scale. However, unlike the first hundred members of AA over 80 years ago, we can now walk into a Barnes and Noble and pick up a handful of books about sobriety that are dedicated solely to living a healthy and enriching sober life. These are just a few that I have read and have been recommended to me. The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous This goes without saying. This is the book that started them all. Without this step by step textbook, this design for living, it is possible that long-term sobriety would still be a largely unattainable wish for thousands of people who suffer from addiction. This book, the sole purpose of it, is to show the reader that there is a solution to their alcohol problem, and exactly how to find that solution and start a better life. This book about sobriety has helped millions of people relieve themselves of the obsession of alcoholism and addiction. Dharma Punx This book is a little bit different, but it is one of my all time favorites. It is the autobiography of a man who suffered from addiction and a… shall we say, very bumpy childhood. He got in with the wrong crowds, started using drugs and alcohol, and soon landed behind bars multiple times. He finally...

Addicts in Denial

You know what they say, Denial ain't just a river in Africa! One of the most pervading and delusional aspects of addiction is our ability or inability to differentiate the truth from the false during our using. It is actually quite common for addicts and alcoholics to see somewhat of an entirely different reality than what it is actually in front of them. Denial is a very natural thought process for everyone on the planet, however, it is usually only associated with death, loss, or a sad event. However, for addicts, denial presents itself as an entire lack of perspective in many different regards. For example, an addict is never fully aware just how bad their disease really is, and for the most part, or at least in my own experience, active addicts often think they have the whole thing pretty well hidden from their friends and loved ones. The concept of denial generally stems from a skewed perception in the mind of addicts and alcoholics. Most people, even non-alcoholics, don't want to admit that they are flawed, or that they may need help sometimes. That being said, it comes as no surprise that addicts and alcoholics, who suffer from a disease of the mind, care to admit that they don’t have everything under control. It can be a hard pill to swallow, especially when none of us ever meant to become an addict. Did you ever tell yourself, when you first started using that it would never happen to you? That you would never let it get that bad? And then once it started to get that bad you...